I am not a good listener

Today My confession is that I  am not a good listener. 

which  make me weak in carrying out a conversation. 

Here in Thailand, I find it very difficult to carry a conversation with anyone. 

Here I  was  thinking, that might be because of the language barrier. People are weak in English and it's hard to talk, but at this point,  I come to realized that, it's not the case.

I was listening  to a ted talk by  Celeste Headlee.  (She has worked in public radio since 1999) She was talking about How to have a good conversation . She pointed out 10 things. They are:

1- Be present  - I always do something else, when I listen to someone. I know I can multi-task if  I Had to listen without doing anything. That is like killing myself. 

2- Don't be a negative person ( I forgot the exact word)

3- Use open-ended questions.

4- Go with the flow. 

5- If you don't know say you don't know 

6- Don't equate your experience with them  it's not the same ( I always do this)

7- Don't repeat what you say ( I always do this )

8- Forget about the details when you talk ( name, years , etc ) (I try to remember them and I end up saying nothing cause I don't remember them.)

9- Listen  - carefully listening , don't make you mind go wondering around. ( I am lack of this ability)

10- Be brief. 

My listening power is my everything, I would rather listen to book review to avoid reading. but I am not a good listener for  people stories and conversation. 

Here after I will  improve my listening skill to improve conversation. I think I am gonna love it. :)

About love

All the stories talk about a guy seen a girl and fall in love. He tries so hard to get that love. He meant to keep it for whole his life. But I wonder why they can not? , why they break up? why they break up each others heart ?.

Different stories end in different ways. It's either the girl fault or the man fault. Either, way it ends. where is the happy part in fall in love , when we cannot keep it.

It wasn't the thing in my mind actually . What am I thinking is it the man responsibility to find love? , or what should we say give love or show the love to the girl.  After finding it keeping it is also for the man job.

A girl can love  so many times. when life goes on she forgets about the true love or fake love or about just love. After some time, she looks for the caring one who will actually do anything to keep her.

So what happen to that first love or the boy who saw her first and taught  her about love. What happened between them. Is it the girl fault or the boys? Is it the fault of both of them?

They say true love  or what we called perfect love ends because they stop fighting for love and they start fighting for life forgetting love.

Even they say if the boy treats the girl the way he treated her first days of their relationship, their love gonna last forever.

First thing is , we fall love and we want to keep it forever. right!
We know all these techniques also , like treat the girl the way you treated at first , and fight for love and goes on.
but why we neglect those?   why we forget that?  Make our own life miserable by our self?

Hanging there.

Don't blame me when I am gone.
I waited for you so many days and nights.
You told me to wait.
I wonder why to show so much care and love,
when you know your gonna be like that.
I can not believe I fell for all that.
Once again I put myself into a different situation.
What kind of a man says love you and leave you to hang on to those memories only.

Life after a complete Disaster

I call  a chapter of life  as a  disaster chapter , because it was the thing I wanted most  and worked really hard to have it, but couldn't make it stable. It wasn't my fault. My fault was trying so hard to obtain it. My fault was trying so hard to have a future, with a wrong person.

What did i learn from it?

It does not matter how many time you spend with another , you're not gonna learn him/her unless you keep an open mind and open eye for it. If love keeping you blind find a way to think outside the box of love. It is difficult but has to do it for oneself.

What changed?

• Trust is an issue for me now.  Even thought I wanna believe someone,  somehow there are doubts in my mind.
• Hopes and dream are not gone completely but working for a relationship is the last thing I would do,but  by natural I am such a helpful person, so this thing conflicts each other.
• I am now more self-concern, instead of living for others I wanna live and invest in myself.
• I became the Mean person, not always but if someone has done wrong with me I would not Help that person, but I don't bully others.
• My motto is  " If you make me happy, I will make you happy" - If you help me or make my life easier I will make your life easy and help you.  If u hurt me I will not hurt you but will not make you happy either.  There goes the ignore board.  :P 

"We were told to learn from our mistakes. 

We were told to be our self." 

Apply them to life

Today I wish, I made this date or day   30/5/2008 as last day of us. I was happy and I was giving a farewell  party with family and friends.  and it was his birthday, it was a farewell to him too.

I wish I had end it there.
I wished I haven't waited for his call when I was far away from him .
I wish when fate separated us apart , I had accepted it .
I wish I had not taken him back to my life.

I do wish all this now, but that day the only thing I wished for was to be with him . To feel his hand on my hand.  The sadness I felt back then , the loneliness  and the long days I waited.
What's the meaning of all that?


wishes are so wired.

wrote on 2014