Am scared

I hope for the better tomorrow but what if does not. What it it turns other way around. I am scared.

I always hoped for a better things, I can't say I haven't got those, but sometime things do go wrong. The biggest hope I had in life is a fail. Things went to unspeakable. Its the unseen and untold truth.

How did that happened , I question my self every day , Why and how ... .... The decision I made is suppose to give me / make me happy. but why I am not happy. 

Sometimes I question to my self , should I live in the moments, There are moments which are just Joy and happy and  . .. i don't have  a word for that. But those joyful moments are over shadow by some sorrow moments. I have no idea whether those moments are the truth or an art or a dream I have seen. who knows the truth....

They say stop worrying about things and enjoy the moment. but what those memories of moments are a lie. It scares me so much not knowing the truth back then and also not knowing now also. 

Those memories I want to cherries have a  dark shadow. Every time I remember those moments at first  its happy but you think little bit deep its sadness. 

Right now am scared of my dream and hopes. Don't wanna dream so high/ have high hopes but its in our nature to dream and hope.

Like vis life goes on. . .